Im fairly modest about using the mens room whilst having to sit down. I mean, you know in public, well its a guy thing. So theres several favorite places around campus that I find both private, comfortable and inviting for such special monemts. One favorite place is on the seventh floor, seldom used as it is by a grand auditorium with restricetd access. Being head of Maintenance I have security clearance you see. And in this new mens room with brightly fresh tiles and high end fittings and lighting one feels particularly invited to enjoy a days special moment of dropping the kids off at the pool. Alas even more inviting is the one handicap stall. Now in a building dedicated to the cure of paralysis this might not be the most propicious of places to take ones leave but alas after scouting the general area and if no event is in progress chances are that it will be a safe time. I embarked upon my mission with great gusto, turning on the tap of the brilliant ceramic and chrome sink for the water cascade affect to add a touch of ambience. TO MY DISMAY, the door opened to said mens room, aghast at using the handicapped stall, and further that by wearing work boots in a high security area my identiy might be given away I clenched. Trying to hide my size 12 scuffed up steel toed black boots from public view whilst awaiting signal of whom invaded my domain at this most peculiar, yet special moment. Within a moment the sound, foreign and unfamiliar of clicking clacking dragging and well and ?a pluck of a viloin string? was announced. Is this a dream, a joke or is one of the mental patients on the loose again. As events unfolded I shortly heard a tap tap tap, like the sound of a drum stick on a piece of wood. Immediately there after an electronic tone, a Csharp I think was generated. WHAT THE FUCK? then with all due alacrity the tuning of a Viola, I do know the difference of the basso profundo difference between a Viola and a Violin! Well the tuning ceremony initiated into each of the four strings, then in multiple strings and even chords. LORD LORD IS THIS A MESSAGE? Then to my amazment and Joy of Joys a lone Viola player began to play a serenade so pure and resonnant as to lift my spirits with an abounding if not heart pounding place of heavenly delight. COULD THIS REALLY BE, IS CAROLINE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. To be courteous I gave a courtesy flush, not phased by odor nor dishonorable sound of FLUSH, SWIRL, SCHWASSHH. My viola playing maestro, annonymous to me as I was to him carried on without skipping a beat. It was wonderful, the acoustic resonance brought tears to my eyes, the Brahms or Bach or whomever composed this toilet concerto in C was brilliant as were the reverberant acoustics which penetrated into the matter within my physical body, vibrating my solid organs and liquid parts and bringing joy from the nectar my ears were perceiving. A cough and voice, definitely a foreign accent, no American would have been so Blaise, perhaps he was Russian and used to cramped quarters, he yelled out , Hey what time do you have. WHAT, who was he talking to? to me? To me? sitting quietly trying to be invisible I heard a voice once again yell out into my stall hey MEESTER VHAT TIME EES EET. Why five to one I announced. Now feeling a comradery with my musical mystery freind, who minded nor smell, nor place nor this lug of a guy on the crapper. With that he put the Viola down back into the case, Clasped the locks. packed up his timer and tone generator. washed up (One could only presume from the noises I heard in my private handicapped stall, which embarassed me was using. So with a Denks Paal he left the john where I immediately wiped, also with all due allacrity, and marveled at the most joyous moment of my public toilet experiences. It brought almos a religious, a santictiy a two guys bonding kinda thing together. quickly washing and leaving I realized that one of the student Docs must have been giving a special serenade to his fellows in the private auditorium to the right of the John. Whewwphhh, how lucky was I that it wasnt a marching band or for that sake a Mariachi Band. My spirits were lifted all day, I immediately wanted to ask the name of the Bathroom Sonata in C but thought it best not to push my luck. So my new project in what ever home I land up living in will be to install a dvd 6.1 surround sound with amplified base into the bathroom, maybe even add fengshui with the touch of a waterfall! Ahh its the little things in life that are so grand.
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I chuckle, i snort, i howl...too, too good...
Posted by: caroline | December 12, 2004 at 08:38 PM